Reputation

"Have you come to bring us technology and immortality?" they asked, getting right to the point. "WOAH, jeeeeeeeeez," the first alien said through its translator. "Not every day's your birthday, creatures of Earth!" "Yeah, wow," the second added. "No. We just just came to see how things were going. We're on our way to the Fabulous Fun Planet and ... y'know ... you're on the way." "Fabulous Fun Planet?" someone from NASA asked (furiously scribbling on a small notepad). "Where's that?" "Far," said the first, irritated with the other one. "And 'Fabulous Fun' is not its name, of course, that's just its reputation in the cosmic community." "Does Earth have a nickname? Do we have a reputation?" NASA asked, ready to write down additional things. The silence was uncomfortable. "Well," said the second (eventually), "you guys are soooooooo cute! Scurrying around, climbing up and over each other to see stuff, take stuff, have stuff. Always washing your hands." Another silence fell. "Trash Panda Planet," the first whispered apologetically. "That's what we call you." "Accurate if not a huge selling point," said one of the reporters (into her lapel mic) for posterity.