Hooligans

"Dear Mr Winter," the card said, "I am in your debt for driving that young man off last night. I have no tolerance for hooligans, but fear kept me from throwing open the door and screaming for dear life as he tried to break in. It's a very confusing and maddening time right now, what with our inept management team incorrectly posting vacancy signs on my condominium and loiterers milling about. I wish I could stomp down to the office and give them an earful, but I cannot leave the apartment right now (try as I might). Your help was a welcome kindness and a solace to me. I SO appreciate you! Ivy Passel (Upstairs, 302)"

"Dear Ms Passel," the reply said, "thank you for the lovely card. It was my pleasure to dispatch that irreverent young man, so green in years but clearly skilled in breaking-and-entering. I have no tolerance for hooligans, either; in that, we are most agreed. Until this situation with Management is properly sorted, you're welcome to establish yourself in my condominium and decorate the place to your liking. I am in no way attempting to shock you by being forward. I am a confirmed bachelor with no inclinations to live otherwise; I do not harbor ill will or inappropriate designs on a roommate situation. I am, however, concerned for your stability and comfort given Management's limited understanding of the term "occupied". I have no furniture in my home apart from a large box in the walk-in closet; it seems a shame to waste the space. I shall apply no pressure to your decision whatsoever, but please feel welcome to relax, breathe deeply, and let yourself drop through the floor to see my condo for yourself. You are most welcome to do so. Your friend, Pollis Winter (Downstairs, 301)"