Depopulation

"We'll save some of you, of course; this is not an eradication," the alien ambassador explained. "As part of the Earth's depopulation plan, we'll unlock several stores of valuable resources ... so that the last of your days are extraordinary." "Is it all about the resources?" the Earth ambassador responded, signaling to the others that a negotiator was urgently needed. "How can you arrive with this news and not explain how this ... judgment ... occurred; who decided and when?" The aliens smoofed amongst themselves, hesitating. "It was unanimous amongst the sentient planets," the alien ambassador explained. "We have been watching since the beginning; the birth of your planet and your species was long awaited and much celebrated. It is not about your use of resources, although that is a symptom of the essential problem with this version of Homo sapiens and further updates would require energy more wisely invested elsewhere." "So ... you're ... not planning on taking the planet for yourselves? Because this sounds like a military action," the Earth ambassador barked into the translator. "No and no," the alien ambassador continued. "We'll actually let the Earth recover and it can pick its next path. This planet is extraordinary." "And we humans are not?!?" the Earth ambassador asked pointedly. The silence that followed was horrifying. "Humans are ...," the alien ambassador said quietly and carefully, "... stressful and boring."