Classic

To the question, "What monster are you?", the audience replied not only immediately, but with some measure of pride. "Vampire!" said one. "Werewolf!" said another. "Phantom of the Opera!" someone in the back blasted. "Mummy!" another chimed in. "Invisible Man ... Woman ... Person!" someone laughed. "Serial killer from a 70s or 80s cult film!" got everyone clapping. "It's all fun and games when you're classic, right?" he asked them (smiling). "Except ... well, when you really look at it. Siphoners leech what they need from everyone else (giving nothing back); Reactives can't control themselves and leave carnage in their wake; Stalkers can only live an imaginary life nothing measures up to; the Tightly Wound wander around cursing the ground they walk upon; Invisibles are never there when you need them; Cult Classics are always hiding in plain sight - stuck in the past, wearing a mask, and not really living." They stared open-mouthed. "And we wonder why we struggle in relationships," he continued, moving deeper into the TED talk, now that he had their full attention.