Voicemails

In a parallel dimension, Voicemail Greetings were rolling their eyes over what passed for coffee in that place. "The droning; OMG, THE DRONING!" Voicemail Sharon groaned. "Just leave your name, number, and the concise bloody point! The directions couldn't be simpler." "They don't listen, though," Voicemail Eloise chimed in, "which makes all of our work completely pointless!" Voicemail Clark tried to add empathy, but that was initially unpopular. "But have you ever listened to yourself leaving a message? I mean ... have you never rambled on?" It hung in the air accompanied by total silence. "Truth to tell, I am as wordy as they come," VmSharon whispered. "Home of the Midwestern 3-minute goodbye." "And I have an anger management problem," VmChuck added from the next table. "Literally, I should be too horrified to show my face in public." After a pause, where they were all lost in reflection and tempted to re-record, VmHank sighed and shook his head, "It's like I'm campaigning to win Cringe of the Year." It was painful to be digital and yet so burdened by feeling.